hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
