I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
