How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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