Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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