ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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