We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
