you didnt know i had herpes?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
