She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
