im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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