even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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