He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
