DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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