Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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