I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
