I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
