dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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