Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
