This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Im part way to drunk.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
