She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize