I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
