I got chris browned last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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