Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
where are you?
Hypothermia
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
