He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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