Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
