..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
