Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
