He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
