u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
