He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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