FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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