I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
