I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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