Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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