too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
