i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
