I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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