Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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