I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this will be a night to untag.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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