More tranny stories later!
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
