are you still at the devil's house?
In the future we'll all be gay
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
