I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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