I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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