you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
