I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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