I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They have beer where we have blood.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
