It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
