Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
