I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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