she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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