So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
