He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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