Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
