Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
