It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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