I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize