WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
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I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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