What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
