My room smells like vodka and shame
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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