She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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