You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
