I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
