I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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