if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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